Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Accountability if nothing else

I’m still smack dab in the middle of the health issues that I have been having.  What’s incredibly frustrating is that they still aren’t 100% sure what’s causing everything.  At my appointment with my endocrinologist they took 11 vials of blood for tests.  They are looking at everything in the endocrine realm.  I’m hoping for results in the next few weeks. 

I took a break for a while from caring about just about anything for a while.  I tried to rally there for a bit but just broke down and gave up.  So, here I am, rallying again.  I need this to keep me accountable to myself.  Why is it that it is easier to be accountable to others than it is to ourselves?  I would think that letting me down would be something I would be the most concerned about.  I need to track food; I need to blog daily, even if it is just two lines.  So, that’s what I will do from this day forward.

Here I am, at times I feel very alone in this health battle, even with an incredibly supportive husband, wonderful family and friends by my side.  I keep telling myself they don’t know, they can’t feel what I feel and they can’t see what is happening.  Then I realized this morning, there is someone who does, and I haven’t talked with Him much if at all the last few months.  And when I say talked, I mean really talked, not just that cursory thanks for all of the blessings you put into my life that I do every night.  So, from here forward, I’m going to be giving more time to do a little more talking and a lot more listening.  I have to trust there is a reason and a purpose for this little blip in my life, and I’m going to do that now.

So this was just a quick note, I’m here; I’m going to be here daily, even if it is just to say hello.

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